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Sunday, August 3, 2008

Forty Years on - Parody version

Forty years on, when in a bar down-under
Farting are those who are drinking today,
When you look fat, and regretfully wonder
What you were like when you weren’t overweight,
Then, it may be, there will often come o’er you,
Glimpses of notes like the ning nang song,
Visions of hunger shall waft then before you,
Echoes of Burger King shall bear them along,

Follow up! Follow up! Follow up
Follow up! Follow up
Till the fields ring again and again,
With the flatulence of the thirty true men
Follow up! Follow up!

Forty years on, growing older and older,
Longer in wind, as in memory short,
Feeble of foot, flattened by a boulder,
What will it help you that once you were strong?
God give us goal lines to guard or beleaguer,
Games to play out, with swords or a gun;
Fights for the dickheads, and trees for the beavers,
Twenty, and thirty, and forty years on!

The Art of Dating

A publication we could all have used to advantage many years ago.... co-authored by one of our own cohorts.

Ms Clare Loh saves Tight Pants 50's Life

Tight Pants 50, who has not chosen to relate his real name, credits Geography teacher Ms Clare Loh with saving his life, limb and sanity.

In school TP50 learnt about contour lines from Ms Loh, the most important thing being that when contour lines are close together of a map, it represents steep, and when far apart, they represent gradual slopes.

Fast forward some years to somewhere near Yosemite National Park in California USA.
TP50 was in a group of hikers somewhere in the high country around Toulome Meadows who wanted to get from one point to another. The distances looked close on the map, and TP50 noticed the large number of tightly packed contour lines between the two points. There was an alternate route that looked like it was 10 times the distance.
The long ago and faraway words of Ms Loh rang in his ears - and he dug in his heels and declared that no way he was going to take the short path, and would prefer to take the long path. The group broke into 2 parties, one party taking the straight line direct path, and the other the long path. Majority of the group joined the first party and took the short part - it was not clear how many members of the group joined the second party, but it appears that there must have been at least one member in that party.

So TP50 arrived tired at the destination several hours later and saw no sign of the other party. This could mean only one of 2 events had transpired. The other party (a) had finished their trip, got tired of waiting and left, or (b) were still on the way. His faith in the words of Ms Loh gave him hope that the (b) was probably the right answer.

A few hours later, the other group finally showed up, totally scratched up and exhausted after having climbed down the steep slope on one side an up the steep slope on the other side. After going down the steep slope, fighting gravity to make sure they did not arrive too early, the legs of the members of the first group had turned to jelly, and then they found themselves having to climb up the steep hillside.

Wherever you are Ms Loh, TP50 thanks you and remembers your words to this day... and still feels for the members of the other group who had not had the benefit of your words.....

This story was written after hearing the story from TP50 himself, with a few additional spicy details (some made up) and posted here by the ghostwriter.


· I had a great childhood running around the undeveloped places round the neighbourhood like a little wild hooligan together with Sandy, Rodger & the neighbourhood gang. At one point we called ourselves the "Q Bike" gang after stuff we read in the 'Beano' & 'Dandy' comic books....of course none of us had a bike but that did not matter!
· EuVilla was still standing then & I remember Sandy held a "haunted castle" party there...very daring! everyone had to bring a date & a candle!! I was precocious & allowed to accompany my parents who got there early when the party was just starting to make sure folks were behaving themselves etc. before said kid sister had to "get lost" so she would not cramp big brother's style! Chair Bah....steady one dair.... ;-)
· Fresh baked bread delivered daily in little van - "Joo"
· First drive-in theatre that opened only for about a couple of months
· all the fountains with their changing colours on the round-abouts that exitsted then: Marco Polo hotel, newton circus, Scotts/Paterson....
· the banana split at magnolia ice cream bar
· Some fab F&B places that disappeared: Trioka restaurant; Gino's A go go; Downtown;
· My first "Barbarella" disco experience!
· Police guy in his khaki shorts standing on wooden box directing traffic at the cross junctions
· Trawling for the perfect Parker fountain pen for Father's Day from the shops along brash basah rd. to Victoria street
· All the fish aquarium shops along Selegie Rd from Cathay theatre down to Mt.Sophia rd
· Mom's favourite coffee ice cream came in a brown bag in a round metal tin(!) from shop on corner of victoria/brash basah
· Ngee Ann Building was a block of residential apartments
· First TV transmission was in black/white & lasted 2-3 hours only per day- rest of time was test pattern that we kept faithfully hypnotically watching to wait for it to burst into life again- Rolf Harris "Tie me kangaroo down sport" was a favoured repeat.....
· clanging bell of neighbourhood ice cream man- 50cents for a cleavered wedge between 2 wafers~ yum!
· When the town convent CHIJ was at Victoria Street & St.Margaret's was considered a "2nd choice" school!
· When fireworks were not banned and roads were lined w/a carpet of red firecrackers being thrown down, around & underneath passing cars!!
· How about the cool "Donald Moore Gallery" at LiatTowers
· And lets not forget the following too.......
- original satay club was single alley along beach road......
- sunday tiffin lunch at Cockpit Hotel...
- the snake charmer in front of old Raffles Hotel.....
- and Hey how about those hotels/landmarks that disappeared: Tropicana; Hotal Singapura; Adelphi Hotel (they had the best french pastries & first patisserie!)......
- When "7 Storey" Hotel was pretty swank & ok place to book visitors in!